Posting ini direvisi karena terinspirasi dari tulisan Henry Manampiring,
Terima kasih atas inspirasinya om Piring ^^
Beberapa minggu lalu, akhirnya saya berangkat ke KUKRI Busan, untuk apply lapor diri. Sebenarnya saya sudah tiba di sini sejak satu tahun lalu, tapi baru sekarang berniat untuk lapor diri. *sungguh bukan warga negara yang baik. Mungkin beberapa teman, termasuk saya, terkadang berpendapat bahwa lapor diri itu bukan hal penting, tapi jika tiba-tiba ada perang, korea selatan diserang korea utara, karena kita tidak terdaftar sebagai warga negara Indonesia yang sedang di korea. gimana? Naudzubillah, jangan sampe ya. Tapi karena sebentar lagi Negara kita tercinta akan punya gawe, Pemilihan Umum, jika kita tidak melapor, kita akan kehilangan kesempatan untuk menjadi pemilih.
Ngomong-ngomong tentang pemilihan umum, sudahkah teman-teman punya partai, wakil, atau kandidata calon presiden yang akan dipilih nanti? Sampai saat ini saya masih galau rasanya klo ditanya masalah partai, caleg, atau calon presiden yang akan dipilih nanti. Belum ada sosok yang benar-benar saya kagumi, dan saya percaya. Media saat ini mungkin sedang marak dan ramai membicarakan Pak Jokowi, yang mendadak akhirnya menyalonkan diri sebagai Presiden. Mungkin itu bukan niat pribadi beliau, mungkin beliau dipaksa oleh pihak partai *gosipnya begitu, tapi sampai saat ini sesungguhnya kita semua beropini, yang tau cerita sesungguhnya hanya Beliau dan Tuhan yang tahu.
Bagi kita rakyat jelata di kancah politik, yang bisa kita lihat adalah hasil,dan yang bisa kita lakukan adalah, semoga yang baik-baik akan tetap berlanjut, kasihan negeri kita Indonesia ini sudah terlalu banyak masalah. Doa saya semoga Tuhan memilihkan kita dan memberi petunjuk bagi kita warga Indonesia untuk memilih orang yang cocok untuk memimpin negeri ini.
Nyambung dari lapor diri, tujuan utamanya adalah memenuhi kewajiban sebagai warga negara Indonesia yang baik, agar kita termasuk orang yang taat aturan, dan orang yang mampu melaksanakan kewajiban, karena sejatinya kita ingin bangsa kita ini tetap menjadi bangsa yang beradab.Tentang hak dan kewajiban, kalo menuru kalian, memilih itu hak atau kewajiban? Bagi saya memilih adalah keduanya, karena di sisi lain kita berhak memilih apa dan siapa pun sesuai yang kita yakini, namun di sisi lain juga itu juga kewajiban memilihkan Indonesia kita ini yang terbaik.
Ngomong soal pilih memilih, ada teman saya yang kekeuh bakalan golput. Mereka bilang, merasa tidak ada yang baik diantara pilihan yang ada. Lantas, kita tidak melakukan apa-apa gitu? membiarkan yang jahat semakin berkuasa? so bagi mereka yang golput, jangan protes kalo nanti yang terpilih bukan orang yang tepat, karena kalian tidak melaksanakan kewajiban untuk memilihkan yang terbaik.
Bagi saya, kalo ditanya golput atau tidak, saya ikut apa kata Om Piring, saya akan memilih alternatif ketiga. Saya akan memilih yang "least evil" yang paling mending, yang sekiranya ga tambah merusak, karena toh nantinya suka atau tidak suka, mau atau tidak mau, kita bakal dipimpin orang yang terpilih, Pemilu ini juga sebenarnya mengajarkan ke diri saya sendiri untuk tidak apatis, tidak apatis untuk negeri kita tercinta. Hampir seperempat abad kita diizinkan tinggal dan besar. Teringat suatu quote, "jangan tanya apa yang negaramu berikan untukmu, tapi apa yang bisa kamu persembahkan untuk negaramu.
Well, at last, apa pun pilihan kita, mau pilih golput, mau alternatif ketiga, intinya kita harus saling menghormati pilihan masing-masing. Pada akhirnya kita semua sesungguhnya menginginkan hal yang sama, menjadikan bangsa kita Indonesia tercinta ini bangsa yang lebih baik, bangsa yang penuh toleransi, menjunjung demokrasi dan bangsa yang beradab.
Selamat menentukan pilihan, ^^
Friday, March 28, 2014
Spring,2014 semester goal
The following points is my short term goal for this semester, I need to write them down, in case I forgot my own promises ^^
- Take TOEIC test, and get at least 900 score
- Have Cumlaude GPA score this semester, and all is perfect
- Have fixed research issue
- Submit and get accepted paper in International Conference
So what do I need to do to to reach my goal ?
- Read, Listen, Speak, and Write anything about English for at least one and half hour each day
- Review the lecturer every weekend
- Do and focus about research for at least 5 hours each day
- Write the technical document of my research, at least a day one fix paragraph.
Monday, March 24, 2014
#Korean Life Tips - Tempat Belanja [groceries]
Akhirnya sempat juga sharing tentang tempat belanja di Korea, Busan dan sekitar PNU lebih tepatnya.
Bagi saya dan teman-teman di sini sebagai mahasiswa dan dan anak kos, prinsip ekonomi benar-benar dijunjung di sini, kalo ada yang murah ngapain cari yang mahal? :D
Berikut beberapa daftar rekomendasi tempat belanja dan waktu paling efektif agar dapet harga yang murah. *demi sustainability, hehe
1. Homeplus
Waktu yang tepat buat belanja di sini adalah minggu ke-4 sebelum bulan berakhir mendekati tanggal 30 atau 31, biasanya supermarket retailer besar akan memberlakukan diskon besar-besaran untuk berbagai produk, mulai kebutuhan pokok, snack, daging, sayur, buah, dan yang lainnya. Mereka memberlakukan diskon besar karena jadwalnya untuk restok dan update harga untuk bulan baru.Produk andalan di homeplus adalah Tahu, snack(all 1000 won), bumbu masak, saos tomat, mayonaise, detergent.
2. Emart
Jika di homeplus waktu yang tepat adalah akhir bulan, maka di Emart juga sama. yang membedakan belanja di emart dan homeplus adalah, barang yang di jual. Kedua retailer ini sama-sama memberlakukan diskon untuk beberapa produk pokok seperti minyak goreng, sayur, dan lain-lain. Jika ingin mendapat banyak tester gratisan, sebaiknya belanja di akhir pekan, sabtu sore, atau minggu pagi :D. biasanya ada pegawai yang sedang promo es krim, susu, atau yoghurt, jadi kita bisa dapet makanan sehat dan enak gratis, tetapi wajib diperhatikan dan hati-hati ya, karena bagi muslim, sebagian besar daging di sini tidak bisa dimakan.
3. Top Mart (탑마트)
Di daerah sekitar PNU, jangjeon, mart ini adalah tempat andalan untuk belanja telur, karena harga standar telur di sini paling murah dibandingkan mart lainnya, kecuali sedang ada diskon khusus ya. Untuk yang ingin belanja sayur dalam jumlah sedikit, top mart juga tempat terbaik untuk belanja sayur. Jamur, terong, sawi, dan wortel di sini murah lho. :D
4. Kim's Club
Yang ingin belanja sekalian nge-mall, Kim's club adalah tempat alternatif terbaik, karena berada di dalam NC departement store. Rekomendasi waktu terbaik untuk belanja di Kimsclub adalah jam 5~7 malam, dan tentu saja di akhir bulan. Kim's club termasuk supermarket yang mahal untuk barang non diskon, tetapi jika sedang ada diskon khusus, kita bisa dapat barang-barang kebutuhan pokok dan buah yang murah di sini, termasuk snack. Jadi selalu cek harga ya. Harga diskon biasanya dicetak dengan warna hijau, atau dengan ukuran yang lebih besar dari logo harga normal. Biasanya yang paling banyak diskon adalah pisang, kita bisa mendapatkan pisang dengan harga 1000 won. ^^
5. Online shop (Gmarket)
Untuk kebutuhan yang berat-berat seperti beras, air mineral, susu, Gmarket adalah rekomendasi terbaik. Kita bisa mendapatkan harga yang pasti jauh lebih murah, dan tak perlu angkat-angkat atau naik taksi. tinggal register, beli, kemudian bayar melalui transfer, 2 atau 3 hari kemudian barang yang kita beli sudah di depan pintu. :D
6. Asian mart
Ada 2 asian mart yang cukup besar dan lengkap di dekat Busan, tetapi harus ditempuh dengan perjalanan sekitar 30~1 jam. Asian mart yang paling direkomendasikan adalah yang di Sasang, Gimhae, dan kios Pak Slamet, di Masjid Al-Fatah Busan. Di Asia Mart sasang, kita bisa dapatkan potongan harga s/d 10rb won jika sudah langganan di sini. Tapi untuk saos sambal,kecap, ayam potong, dan daging di Pak Slamet lebih murah. Di asian mart gimhae kita bisa menemukan ayam potong khusus bagian paha, dan bumbu instant bamboo yang lebih lengkap.
Sekian sedikit sharing mengenai tempat belanja di Busan,
Happy Shopping :D
-Titus id-
Bagi saya dan teman-teman di sini sebagai mahasiswa dan dan anak kos, prinsip ekonomi benar-benar dijunjung di sini, kalo ada yang murah ngapain cari yang mahal? :D
Berikut beberapa daftar rekomendasi tempat belanja dan waktu paling efektif agar dapet harga yang murah. *demi sustainability, hehe
1. Homeplus
Waktu yang tepat buat belanja di sini adalah minggu ke-4 sebelum bulan berakhir mendekati tanggal 30 atau 31, biasanya supermarket retailer besar akan memberlakukan diskon besar-besaran untuk berbagai produk, mulai kebutuhan pokok, snack, daging, sayur, buah, dan yang lainnya. Mereka memberlakukan diskon besar karena jadwalnya untuk restok dan update harga untuk bulan baru.Produk andalan di homeplus adalah Tahu, snack(all 1000 won), bumbu masak, saos tomat, mayonaise, detergent.
2. Emart
Jika di homeplus waktu yang tepat adalah akhir bulan, maka di Emart juga sama. yang membedakan belanja di emart dan homeplus adalah, barang yang di jual. Kedua retailer ini sama-sama memberlakukan diskon untuk beberapa produk pokok seperti minyak goreng, sayur, dan lain-lain. Jika ingin mendapat banyak tester gratisan, sebaiknya belanja di akhir pekan, sabtu sore, atau minggu pagi :D. biasanya ada pegawai yang sedang promo es krim, susu, atau yoghurt, jadi kita bisa dapet makanan sehat dan enak gratis, tetapi wajib diperhatikan dan hati-hati ya, karena bagi muslim, sebagian besar daging di sini tidak bisa dimakan.
3. Top Mart (탑마트)
Di daerah sekitar PNU, jangjeon, mart ini adalah tempat andalan untuk belanja telur, karena harga standar telur di sini paling murah dibandingkan mart lainnya, kecuali sedang ada diskon khusus ya. Untuk yang ingin belanja sayur dalam jumlah sedikit, top mart juga tempat terbaik untuk belanja sayur. Jamur, terong, sawi, dan wortel di sini murah lho. :D
4. Kim's Club
Yang ingin belanja sekalian nge-mall, Kim's club adalah tempat alternatif terbaik, karena berada di dalam NC departement store. Rekomendasi waktu terbaik untuk belanja di Kimsclub adalah jam 5~7 malam, dan tentu saja di akhir bulan. Kim's club termasuk supermarket yang mahal untuk barang non diskon, tetapi jika sedang ada diskon khusus, kita bisa dapat barang-barang kebutuhan pokok dan buah yang murah di sini, termasuk snack. Jadi selalu cek harga ya. Harga diskon biasanya dicetak dengan warna hijau, atau dengan ukuran yang lebih besar dari logo harga normal. Biasanya yang paling banyak diskon adalah pisang, kita bisa mendapatkan pisang dengan harga 1000 won. ^^
5. Online shop (Gmarket)
Untuk kebutuhan yang berat-berat seperti beras, air mineral, susu, Gmarket adalah rekomendasi terbaik. Kita bisa mendapatkan harga yang pasti jauh lebih murah, dan tak perlu angkat-angkat atau naik taksi. tinggal register, beli, kemudian bayar melalui transfer, 2 atau 3 hari kemudian barang yang kita beli sudah di depan pintu. :D
6. Asian mart
Ada 2 asian mart yang cukup besar dan lengkap di dekat Busan, tetapi harus ditempuh dengan perjalanan sekitar 30~1 jam. Asian mart yang paling direkomendasikan adalah yang di Sasang, Gimhae, dan kios Pak Slamet, di Masjid Al-Fatah Busan. Di Asia Mart sasang, kita bisa dapatkan potongan harga s/d 10rb won jika sudah langganan di sini. Tapi untuk saos sambal,kecap, ayam potong, dan daging di Pak Slamet lebih murah. Di asian mart gimhae kita bisa menemukan ayam potong khusus bagian paha, dan bumbu instant bamboo yang lebih lengkap.
Sekian sedikit sharing mengenai tempat belanja di Busan,
Happy Shopping :D
-Titus id-
Saturday, March 22, 2014
Adekku, aku rindu
Sebenarnya ini adalah latepost :D
Sekitar seminggu yang lalu, salah satu obrolan voice Kakaotalk dengan Ibu yang biasanya panjang lebar dan ngalor ngidul, malam itu sangat singkat, tapi membuatku makin rindu dengan adekku.
Ini isinya obrolan singkat kami setelah salam,
Saat itu juga rasanya saya pengen banget ada pintu kemana saja doraemon, kemudian sampai di rumah, bermain dan bercerita dengan adek kecilku. Saat ini sudah kelas 3 sekolah dasar, rasanya waktu begitu cepat berjalan, seperti baru kemaren adekku yang terakhir ini lahir dengan prematur, yang menyulap ayahku jadi kurir susu setiap 4 jam. Kata Ibu, sekarang adek makin rajin sekolahnya, kadang malas dengan pelajaran yang gurunya tak di suka, tapi begitu bersemangat ketika gurunya baik. Ah dasar anak kecil, *kakak juga dulu begitu kok dek, :D.
Adek, kakak rindu. Baik-baik ya, jaga Ibuk dan Ayah di rumah, yang rajin sholat dan ngajinya, baik-baik di sekolah, jangan mutung belajar bahasa inggris gara-gara gurunya. :)
I Miss You, like everyday
wanna be with you, but you're away
-Beyonce-Missing you
-Titus id-
Sekitar seminggu yang lalu, salah satu obrolan voice Kakaotalk dengan Ibu yang biasanya panjang lebar dan ngalor ngidul, malam itu sangat singkat, tapi membuatku makin rindu dengan adekku.
Ini isinya obrolan singkat kami setelah salam,
Ibu : Mbak, sedang ngelab to ?
Aku : Inggih Bu, Ada apakah? tumben telfon nya jam segini?
Ibu : Ini mbak, adek tiba-tiba minta Ibu telfon, katanya abis liat berita pesawat Malaysia yang hilang, pengen tau kakak baik-baik atau gimana di sana?
 |
| My Lovely Lil Bro :D |
Saat itu juga rasanya saya pengen banget ada pintu kemana saja doraemon, kemudian sampai di rumah, bermain dan bercerita dengan adek kecilku. Saat ini sudah kelas 3 sekolah dasar, rasanya waktu begitu cepat berjalan, seperti baru kemaren adekku yang terakhir ini lahir dengan prematur, yang menyulap ayahku jadi kurir susu setiap 4 jam. Kata Ibu, sekarang adek makin rajin sekolahnya, kadang malas dengan pelajaran yang gurunya tak di suka, tapi begitu bersemangat ketika gurunya baik. Ah dasar anak kecil, *kakak juga dulu begitu kok dek, :D.
Adek, kakak rindu. Baik-baik ya, jaga Ibuk dan Ayah di rumah, yang rajin sholat dan ngajinya, baik-baik di sekolah, jangan mutung belajar bahasa inggris gara-gara gurunya. :)
I Miss You, like everyday
wanna be with you, but you're away
-Beyonce-Missing you
-Titus id-
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Selamat Jalan Mbah Uti
Mbah, selamat jalan, semoga Allah memberi tempat yang istimewa untuk Embah, Maafkan cucumu yang tak bisa mendampingi hingga hembusan nafas terakhir. Semoga Embah diampuni segala dosa, serta diterima segala amal di masa hidup. Selamat jalan Embah, Doa kami menyertai kepergian Embah
-Titus id-
-Titus id-
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
10 Habits of Optimists
These recent several days, I read some articles, about motivation, about finding our passion, and other similar things. One of my favorite websites is Productivemuslim. In that site, we may found so many tips how to be productive ummah. Regardless the article from productivemuslim, I also found this article interesting, so i reblogged it from original source here :
10 Habits of Optimists :
1. Have Gratitude :
It all starts with counting our blessing. If you are not grateful for the good things in your life, you will never be satisfied. Take inventory of the good around you. But don't neglect what's not great, either: You also need to be grateful for the hardships, the obstacles, the failures. Why? because these are the points of wisdom in your life. They give you strength, they teach you how to persevere, and they form your resilience. Being thankful for every step makes life's hardships surmountable. All of this is the foundation of optimism; being psyched about the good and the bad, and knowing that they all point to a bright future."
2. Share your stories
"I believe we all have the capacity to live optimistically just by sharing our life's adventures, our successes and even our failures. Just knowing others have been in the same boat and have persevered is comforting. It spreads a message of hope, and hope is the main ingredient in optimism. When we share our stories we are giving others the tools they need to build, evolve, and persevere. In essence, mankind is always 'paying it forward'."
3. Forgive
This is easier said than done but you need to forgive those that have affected your ability to find the silver lining. I believe that the easiest way to forgive and move on is to reflect on the fact that the past is the past. Just look at it this way; the person that you are having a hard time forgiving probably wishes that he or she could erase the past as well. In summary, make peace with your past so that it won't spoil the present. Once you accomplish this, you will close those chapters and live a more positive and happy life.
4. Be a better listener
"When you listen, you open up your ability to take in more knowledge versus blocking the world with your words or your distracting thoughts. You are also demonstrating confidence and respect for others. Knowledge and confidence is proof that you are secure and positive with yourself thus radiating positive energy."
5. Turn envy and jealousy into energy
"When we envy others we are only hurting ourselves. The universe does not owe you because someone else is better off than you. Channel that energy into building your personal and professional brand. Consider other people's success the catalyst to help you achieve."
6. Smile more, frown less
"When we smile we are creating a happiness, stimulating environment around us that draws others in. Frowning, on the other hand, shuts people out and has the opposite effect. Happiness, even in brief doses, releases Serotonin (the happy hormone). It makes the toughest days surmountable."
7. Exercise, eat a healthy diet and take in vitamin D
"This may be common advice, but we all need some form of exercise and sunlight everyday even--if it's only for 15 minutes. If you can't get natural sunlight, as your doctor about vitamin D supplements and/or light therapy. If you can't get exercise during your busy schedule, use the staircase instead of the elevator or park in the furthest parking spot. Whatever it takes, keep yourself in healthy motion as often as you can. Consider balanced meals and don't push away those fruits and vegetables. If you feel hunger throughout the day, consider almonds and walnuts if you are not allergic. If you are predisposed to allergies, consider frequent smaller meals throughout the day instead of three larger ones. The energy we get from exercise, a healthy diet, and light exposure gives us focus, clarity and a naturally positive demeanor."
8. Be a positive forward thinker
"Positive forward thinking is the ability to find the silver lining in every cloud, apply it to today or yesterday and be hopeful that tomorrow will be better. Imagine surgery; you think the worse and can’t wait for it to be over. Take all that and start visualizing what the point of the surgery is and what the results of the procedure will deliver. The goal is good, it’s only today that may seem rough. Or picture a student studying for a grueling exam. It may seem like the end of the world trying to prepare and memorize all this information. But take that energy and picture what your degree can do for your future. Like anything else, working hard will always deliver results. Life is not a lottery. It’s what you make of it."
9. Stop blaming others
"It is so easy to blame others for our position in life. People blame the economy, politicians, bosses, and all types of third parties for their problems. Once you truly accept that you control who you are, you will find that optimism and success come naturally. Remember, opportunity is usually found in the valleys, not at the peaks.
10. Understand that the past is not a blueprint for the future
"Just because you've experienced adversity in your life does not mean that what starts badly will end badly. Do not make bad experiences a self-fulfilling prophecy of what lies ahead. On the contrary, know that those milestones are behind you and the road to the future is clear."
10 Habits of Optimists :
1. Have Gratitude :
It all starts with counting our blessing. If you are not grateful for the good things in your life, you will never be satisfied. Take inventory of the good around you. But don't neglect what's not great, either: You also need to be grateful for the hardships, the obstacles, the failures. Why? because these are the points of wisdom in your life. They give you strength, they teach you how to persevere, and they form your resilience. Being thankful for every step makes life's hardships surmountable. All of this is the foundation of optimism; being psyched about the good and the bad, and knowing that they all point to a bright future."
2. Share your stories
"I believe we all have the capacity to live optimistically just by sharing our life's adventures, our successes and even our failures. Just knowing others have been in the same boat and have persevered is comforting. It spreads a message of hope, and hope is the main ingredient in optimism. When we share our stories we are giving others the tools they need to build, evolve, and persevere. In essence, mankind is always 'paying it forward'."
3. Forgive
This is easier said than done but you need to forgive those that have affected your ability to find the silver lining. I believe that the easiest way to forgive and move on is to reflect on the fact that the past is the past. Just look at it this way; the person that you are having a hard time forgiving probably wishes that he or she could erase the past as well. In summary, make peace with your past so that it won't spoil the present. Once you accomplish this, you will close those chapters and live a more positive and happy life.
4. Be a better listener
"When you listen, you open up your ability to take in more knowledge versus blocking the world with your words or your distracting thoughts. You are also demonstrating confidence and respect for others. Knowledge and confidence is proof that you are secure and positive with yourself thus radiating positive energy."
5. Turn envy and jealousy into energy
"When we envy others we are only hurting ourselves. The universe does not owe you because someone else is better off than you. Channel that energy into building your personal and professional brand. Consider other people's success the catalyst to help you achieve."
6. Smile more, frown less
"When we smile we are creating a happiness, stimulating environment around us that draws others in. Frowning, on the other hand, shuts people out and has the opposite effect. Happiness, even in brief doses, releases Serotonin (the happy hormone). It makes the toughest days surmountable."
7. Exercise, eat a healthy diet and take in vitamin D
"This may be common advice, but we all need some form of exercise and sunlight everyday even--if it's only for 15 minutes. If you can't get natural sunlight, as your doctor about vitamin D supplements and/or light therapy. If you can't get exercise during your busy schedule, use the staircase instead of the elevator or park in the furthest parking spot. Whatever it takes, keep yourself in healthy motion as often as you can. Consider balanced meals and don't push away those fruits and vegetables. If you feel hunger throughout the day, consider almonds and walnuts if you are not allergic. If you are predisposed to allergies, consider frequent smaller meals throughout the day instead of three larger ones. The energy we get from exercise, a healthy diet, and light exposure gives us focus, clarity and a naturally positive demeanor."
8. Be a positive forward thinker
"Positive forward thinking is the ability to find the silver lining in every cloud, apply it to today or yesterday and be hopeful that tomorrow will be better. Imagine surgery; you think the worse and can’t wait for it to be over. Take all that and start visualizing what the point of the surgery is and what the results of the procedure will deliver. The goal is good, it’s only today that may seem rough. Or picture a student studying for a grueling exam. It may seem like the end of the world trying to prepare and memorize all this information. But take that energy and picture what your degree can do for your future. Like anything else, working hard will always deliver results. Life is not a lottery. It’s what you make of it."
9. Stop blaming others
"It is so easy to blame others for our position in life. People blame the economy, politicians, bosses, and all types of third parties for their problems. Once you truly accept that you control who you are, you will find that optimism and success come naturally. Remember, opportunity is usually found in the valleys, not at the peaks.
10. Understand that the past is not a blueprint for the future
"Just because you've experienced adversity in your life does not mean that what starts badly will end badly. Do not make bad experiences a self-fulfilling prophecy of what lies ahead. On the contrary, know that those milestones are behind you and the road to the future is clear."
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Reblog : A Letter from a Working Mother to a Stay-At-Home Mother, and vice versa
Dear Stay-At-Home Mum
Some people have been questioning what you do at home all day. I know what you do. I know because I’m a mum and for a while I did it too.
I know you do unpaid work, often thankless work, which starts the moment you wake up, and doesn’t even end when you go to sleep. I know you work weekends and nights, with no discernible end to your day or working week. I know the rewards are joyous but few.
I know that you seldom have a hot cup of coffee or tea. I know that your attention is always divided, often diverted from a moment to moment basis, and you cannot ever count on completing a task in the one go. I know that you probably don’t get any down time when you’re on your own at home, unless you have a single child who still naps in the daytime.
I know the challenges you deal with daily, usually with no peer support or backup. The toddler tantrums, the toilet training accidents, the food battles, the food on the floor, the crayons on the wall, the sibling rivalry, the baby that never seems to stop crying. I know how the work seems incessant, like an endless cycle – you shop for food, prepare it, cook it, attempt to feed it to your children, clean it off the floor, wash the dishes, and repeat in three hours.
I know you fantasise about having an hour to yourself to eat your lunch in peace, or about having an afternoon nap. I know you sometimes wonder if it’s all worth it, and feel envious of your friends who are having coffee breaks at work. I know that sometimes when your partner gets home in the evening after his work is done, he wants to put his feet up exactly when you need a break the most, and this can bring you to tears.
I know that you are misunderstood by so many who do not appreciate the difficulties of caring for small children on your own, all day, and refer to you as joining the “latte set”. They imagine you spend your day sipping coffee while your children play quietly. I know you miss your financial independence. I know you feel amused and sometimes annoyed when others proclaim “TGIF!” because to you every day is the same – there is no Friday, no break from your job. I know that many people do not understand that you work – you simply work an unpaid job at home.
SAHM, I don’t know how you do it. I admire your infinite patience, your ability to face each day cheerfully and bring joy into your children’s lives even when they wear you down. I admire your dedication to being a constant presence in your children’s lives even if it isn’t always easy. I admire the way you work without expecting any reward – no promotions, no fame, no salary. I know you want your children to feel important and loved, and SAHM, you do this the best.
I just wanted you to know that I understand. We’re both mothers. And I know.
Love from the trenches
Working Mum
Dear Working Mum
I know you sometimes get judged by others for leaving your children in the care of others to work. Some people imply that you don’t love your children as much as us SAHMs do, and that it’s best for children to be at home with their mothers.
How can they say this about you? I know you love your children just as much as any other mother. I know that going back to work was no easy decision. You weighed up the pros and cons, long before you conceived a baby. It has always been one of the most important decisions of your life. You thought about this even while you were in high school and were choosing subjects for Grade 11.
I see you everywhere. You are the doctor I take my children to when they are sick. You’re my child’s allergist, the one who diagnosed her peanut allergy. You’re the physiotherapist who treated my husband’s back. You’re the accountant who does our tax returns. My son’s primary school teacher. The director of our childcare centre. My daughter’s gymnastics teacher. The real estate agent who sold our house. What sort of world would it be if you hadn’t been there for us? If you had succumbed to the pressures of those who insisted a mother’s place had to be in the home?
I know you weigh up every job to see if it will suit your family. I know you wake up an hour before everyone else does, just so you can get some exercise done or some quiet time. I know that you have attended meetings after being up all night with your toddler. I know that when you come home in the evening, your “second shift” begins. The nay-sayers don’t understand that you run a household AND hold a job. You come home, cook dinner, bath your children and read them stories. You tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. You pay the bills, do the grocery shopping, the laundry, the dishes, just like every other mother does.
I know that you often feel guilty about having any more time away from your children so you sacrifice your leisure time. I know you can’t bring yourself to take a “day off” for yourself when your children are at daycare. I know you accept that work is your “time off” for now. I know that when you are at work you don’t waste a single minute. I know you eat your lunch at your desk, you don’t go out for coffee, and you show complete dedication and concentration to your job. You chose to be there after all. You want to be there.
I know how discerning you are about who is looking after your children, and that many long daycare centres offer excellent care. I know you only leave your children in a place where you confident they are loved and well looked after. I know that you spend many days caring for your children at home when they are sick, and sacrifice your pay. I know that you secretly enjoy these days, and revel in being able to be with your children.
I know that sometimes you feel guilty about not being there all the time. But WM, I know this. You are setting a wonderful example to your children. You are showing them that a woman can have a career, contribute in some way outside the home, and still be a loving mother. You are showing your daughters that they can do anything they want to do in life. You are displaying strength, endurance, dedication, tenacity, and you do it with so much joy and love.
I just wanted you to know I understand. Because we’re both mothers.
Love from the trenches
Stay-At-Home Mum
By : Carolyn
Carolyn is a medical doctor and researcher. She blogs about health and her journey to discover the Nirvana of work-family balance. She has a toddler and a three-year-old and a wonderful husband, and returned to full-time work/study in February 2014. In her “spare time” she enjoys running and the occasional eating of cupcakes.
Some people have been questioning what you do at home all day. I know what you do. I know because I’m a mum and for a while I did it too.
I know you do unpaid work, often thankless work, which starts the moment you wake up, and doesn’t even end when you go to sleep. I know you work weekends and nights, with no discernible end to your day or working week. I know the rewards are joyous but few.
I know that you seldom have a hot cup of coffee or tea. I know that your attention is always divided, often diverted from a moment to moment basis, and you cannot ever count on completing a task in the one go. I know that you probably don’t get any down time when you’re on your own at home, unless you have a single child who still naps in the daytime.
I know the challenges you deal with daily, usually with no peer support or backup. The toddler tantrums, the toilet training accidents, the food battles, the food on the floor, the crayons on the wall, the sibling rivalry, the baby that never seems to stop crying. I know how the work seems incessant, like an endless cycle – you shop for food, prepare it, cook it, attempt to feed it to your children, clean it off the floor, wash the dishes, and repeat in three hours.
I know you fantasise about having an hour to yourself to eat your lunch in peace, or about having an afternoon nap. I know you sometimes wonder if it’s all worth it, and feel envious of your friends who are having coffee breaks at work. I know that sometimes when your partner gets home in the evening after his work is done, he wants to put his feet up exactly when you need a break the most, and this can bring you to tears.
I know that you are misunderstood by so many who do not appreciate the difficulties of caring for small children on your own, all day, and refer to you as joining the “latte set”. They imagine you spend your day sipping coffee while your children play quietly. I know you miss your financial independence. I know you feel amused and sometimes annoyed when others proclaim “TGIF!” because to you every day is the same – there is no Friday, no break from your job. I know that many people do not understand that you work – you simply work an unpaid job at home.
SAHM, I don’t know how you do it. I admire your infinite patience, your ability to face each day cheerfully and bring joy into your children’s lives even when they wear you down. I admire your dedication to being a constant presence in your children’s lives even if it isn’t always easy. I admire the way you work without expecting any reward – no promotions, no fame, no salary. I know you want your children to feel important and loved, and SAHM, you do this the best.
I just wanted you to know that I understand. We’re both mothers. And I know.
Love from the trenches
Working Mum
Dear Working Mum
I know you sometimes get judged by others for leaving your children in the care of others to work. Some people imply that you don’t love your children as much as us SAHMs do, and that it’s best for children to be at home with their mothers.
How can they say this about you? I know you love your children just as much as any other mother. I know that going back to work was no easy decision. You weighed up the pros and cons, long before you conceived a baby. It has always been one of the most important decisions of your life. You thought about this even while you were in high school and were choosing subjects for Grade 11.
I see you everywhere. You are the doctor I take my children to when they are sick. You’re my child’s allergist, the one who diagnosed her peanut allergy. You’re the physiotherapist who treated my husband’s back. You’re the accountant who does our tax returns. My son’s primary school teacher. The director of our childcare centre. My daughter’s gymnastics teacher. The real estate agent who sold our house. What sort of world would it be if you hadn’t been there for us? If you had succumbed to the pressures of those who insisted a mother’s place had to be in the home?
I know you weigh up every job to see if it will suit your family. I know you wake up an hour before everyone else does, just so you can get some exercise done or some quiet time. I know that you have attended meetings after being up all night with your toddler. I know that when you come home in the evening, your “second shift” begins. The nay-sayers don’t understand that you run a household AND hold a job. You come home, cook dinner, bath your children and read them stories. You tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. You pay the bills, do the grocery shopping, the laundry, the dishes, just like every other mother does.
I know that you often feel guilty about having any more time away from your children so you sacrifice your leisure time. I know you can’t bring yourself to take a “day off” for yourself when your children are at daycare. I know you accept that work is your “time off” for now. I know that when you are at work you don’t waste a single minute. I know you eat your lunch at your desk, you don’t go out for coffee, and you show complete dedication and concentration to your job. You chose to be there after all. You want to be there.
I know how discerning you are about who is looking after your children, and that many long daycare centres offer excellent care. I know you only leave your children in a place where you confident they are loved and well looked after. I know that you spend many days caring for your children at home when they are sick, and sacrifice your pay. I know that you secretly enjoy these days, and revel in being able to be with your children.
I know that sometimes you feel guilty about not being there all the time. But WM, I know this. You are setting a wonderful example to your children. You are showing them that a woman can have a career, contribute in some way outside the home, and still be a loving mother. You are showing your daughters that they can do anything they want to do in life. You are displaying strength, endurance, dedication, tenacity, and you do it with so much joy and love.
I just wanted you to know I understand. Because we’re both mothers.
Love from the trenches
Stay-At-Home Mum
By : Carolyn
Carolyn is a medical doctor and researcher. She blogs about health and her journey to discover the Nirvana of work-family balance. She has a toddler and a three-year-old and a wonderful husband, and returned to full-time work/study in February 2014. In her “spare time” she enjoys running and the occasional eating of cupcakes.
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